Thoughts on a January day

Cold mornings, chilly breeze and the ever-looming magnetic aura of warm bed, I loathe winter. I have always hated waking up early in the morning, whether for studies or survival. That’s why January qualifies as one of my most hated months. My deep dark urge to smash my alarm clock every time it squeaks, ending my most cheerful dreams, is suppressed by the need for education. As a female, I feel the pressure to meet numerous social standards each time I step out of my front door. During the winter months, this pressure seems magnified.

Countless estrogen-triggered emotions boggle my mind every day. I describe myself as a reader but this hard and cruel winter morning has propelled my writing skills into new horizons. The cruelty of winter channeled my anger and frustration. The result seems surprisingly poetic,

Early mornings
alarm clock warnings
urge to snooze
till my coffee brews

Another minute, another second
oh shit! Can’t!
Have to get up, I reckon
Want to look like a brand
have to make the entrance that’s grand.

Ice cold water
Wish it was a bit hotter
hate morning showers
crouching my way or simply cower

Don’t have time for proper make up
uneven eyeliner should do
If only I had an early wake up
I thought to myself while tying a shoe

Have to head out now.
Am I late again? WOW!
Rushing my way to school
Winter is simple cruel!

Can’t feel my hands
Can’t feel my face
Gotta keep up with the pace
Embrace the winter, so everyone says.

Finally, made the entrance
I suppose I made it grand
everyone is aware of my presence
and I look sloppy and bland

Dozing throughout the class
winter creeping it’s way in from the uncovered glass.

An hour just ended
Have couple more to go

The professor asked, “Is everyone clear on the topic?”
Nodding my head, like everyone else. I pretended.

No warm sun.
I guess the winter won.
Numbing January days
Embrace the winter, so
everyone says.

With preposterous social standards to be met every day, I sometimes wish I were a boy but I guess they do have their share of difficulties to tackle. With the benchmark of female personality getting judged by appearance every day, the winter has certainly not helped me with first impressions either. Hungry for grand entrances, I try harder every day to meet the standards of female beauty and yet I step out of the door looking sloppy and fatigued. Having spent over an hour putting on the cleverly marketed “beauty products”, I hate it when people come up to me and say, “Aww! You look so tired”.

Furthermore, there is also the ever present fear of hypothermia each morning when I expose my hands to ice cold water while freshening up.. The only pleasant thing in the early mornings, as I get ready to be judged during the day, is my morning coffee. It might not exactly taste like the overpriced products from fancy coffee houses, but my morning cup of coffee does give my lips a taste of heaven. The coffee that gives me strength to lift my eyelids all day is literally the only thing that keeps me from stabbing every living being on my way to college.

As for someone who loves the outdoors and would prefer to be out for most of the hours, winter can be truly challenging. Shorter days and freezing weather is my one true challenge that keeps me bounded at home covered under a blanket. Having to think twice before acting on any of my plans for winter is mentally exhausting. Is all the trouble worth it? The battle against pure apathy and desire? Winter is chaotic.

The only things that excite me about winter are warm drinks, spicy food and snow in abundance. Although I’ve never truly experienced snow in abundance or snowfall to be precise, I wish to see it. Maybe then I will come to embrace the winter like everyone else. In my mind, a beautiful winter means plenty of snow to play, winter activities like skiing and other fun activities that get captured by Western movies and TV shows. . In conclusion, winter brings out the worst in me.

The well-stirred cocktail of anger, frustration and laziness, along with the infamous feminine hormones, make me look like someone who needs to see a priest for an exorcism. Hence, my January is not exactly filled with parties, resolutions and holidays. Rather, it is my “time of the year” with laziness, mood swings and sheer clumsiness.

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